Therapy by phone ?? Why Not

In October I decided to see a therapist. Blood pressure, not sleeping and apparently depressed per the checklist, it seemed like a better alternate than taking some pills. Not that I am against medication, but the last time I did it I packed on the pounds so not this time.

First step: Find a therapist that your insurance accepts AND has hours that work for you.

Second step: Call them and wait for them to call your back. Of the three that I called, only one called back. By the way some of the therapists that said they had hours after work or early AM didn’t, they just forgot to update their information.

Step three: Set up the first appointment and see how it goes.

Lucky for me, found a good location, great time and what seemed to be (and later is) a good fit for me.

So I’ve been going for a short time but feeling better about myself, feeling like I am more empowered and instead of reacting to things being more proactive.

Now Covid 19 hits and how will this work. I usually sit across from a live person who by now has a really good idea of who I am and what I need help with, but now I can’t do that. I have been really diligent about contact since I am in the high risk group – asthmatic and just recently recovered from a terrible case of bronchitis.

So we set up a phone time that was different from our regular one because it was better for the therapist and at a time when I could talk more freely, i.e. nobody home then, and it went OK. It was strange, it was a little awkward, but it was okay.

Will I do it again? I told my therapist that I am doing okay. I no longer worry as much, that I have caught this awful disease. I stay away from the news as much as possible, and stay off some social media sites. I need to be careful who I talk to because if they are anxious and worried then I become anxious and worried. I read factual, scientific articles that help me feel that they are getting a handle on this thing, but I still worry that there will more to come after this one is over and done.

The way we left it is to check back in two weeks to see if A) I need it and B) she has the time to do it because she has a family and young children now home from school and maybe other clients need the services more.

My ending advice is to give it a try. Talking to someone who isn’t judging your or trying to “fix” your problem or “fix” you is very cathartic. Maybe it will save you from medication, maybe it will be in conjunction with medication. Opening up and letting your feelings and thoughts out into the open isn’t a bad thing. It doesn’t make you weak or needy, it just make you a real person who may benefit from talking with another real person, trained in how to help.

Sometimes lipstick skips a generation

Growing up I was amazed by my mom’s ability to apply lipstick without even looking at a mirror. I watched her in admiration apply wonderful shades of red deftly and then with a tissue smack her lips together to remove the excess. Of course being a young girl she shared her cast off colors with myself and my sister, but no matter how careful I was I always managed to smear it all over my teeth and that was whilst looking in the mirror. While my mom, born in 1927, was a bit of a glamour girl, I guess it was never my forte. I also remember her cake mascara which I often would also try to use, but instead just gave myself raccoon eyes.

Fast forward to my young adulthood – in high school in the mid 70’s the bold color palettes especially blues. Blooming Colors palettes were all the rage – 4 colors for the lid, under-brow area, highlights and contours. There was also a brown which matched my eyes so much better, but when I used it I looked awful and clown-like. Instead it was a mascara only world for me, with sometimes a poor attempt at eye-liner. My fate of course as a red head is that my brows, and my lashes are auburn.

My daughter, Michelle “Pinkey” was born in 1989. I think it was her 10 year old Christmas that Gramma Mary bought her and all the girls in the family, makeup kits for Christmas. Thus began Michelle’s love of all things makeup. Now as she is the adult, I watch her in awe as she deftly applies her makeup. Her chosen profession is an esthetician too! hope that her Gramma somehow is aware of that. I am sure that is her influence.

I’m still sticking to just mascara with a bit of eyeliner now and then. But never any lipstick. I have tried now and then, never finding a shade that works with my less than white teeth, on my small thin lips, or a product that I don’t feel the need to bite off once it has been applied. So I do believe on good authority that sometimes lipstick just skips a generation – at least it did in my case.

Halloween ….

Halloween night 2019 had snow and freezing rain. We only got 6 trick or treaters and they were basically the kids across the street. Pretty said turnout and of course we had a lot of leftover candy.

I was thinking back about Michelle’s Halloween’s. Her first one I made a pumpkin cape and hat and yes she was my little pumpkin. The following year I made her a spider costume. She wore all black and then had a vest like structure with a web on the chest and the arms. For her 3rd Halloween, I made her a Hershey kiss. That year our Christmas card was Merry Kissmas. Sewing however with silver tissue lame was pretty awful.

By the time Michelle was four and attending preschool at St. Bartholomew, she had selected a witch costume. She had a basic black tunic and a reversible witch print cape. We bought a witch hat, but she wanted to be a pretty witch, so I added some tulle with sparkles on it. She had a broom and practiced her witch cackle. She had decided that she really did not like trick or treating. She wanted to be home passing out the treats at the door. Before we did this, we went to Gramma Mary’s house and to Aunt anee (Renee) and Uncle Jerry’s house, next door and got some big candies. Clarence? the guy across the street also gave her a giant Hershey bar.

Now we enter kindergarten and the Power Ranger phase, actually the PINK Power Ranger phase. This year we also got a store bought costume. I also made a costume our of fleece so it was a nice outfit for sleeping. First, second and third grade I have to be honest I think were dedicated to Barbie. I had made some fancy dresses with pink lace and my young Pinkey was happy. She liked to play dress up often. High heels, and lace capes were her go to. What a Fancy Nancy she was! By 4th grade she decided to be Pippi Longstocking. We added wire to her braids and drew some freckles on her face. The following year 5th grade was the year of the car hop I think. I have now decided that I need to do some research in looking at the photos. Halloween parties at St. Barts were the norm during school years. Later Michelle took over her own costumes of course. She made a doll with a key, Sallie from the Nightmare before Christmas, dolls and other fun costumes.

Of course my childhood Halloween’s were so different. This was before the razor blades in apples, Tylenol scares etc. So we could go out multiple times, filling baskets and baskets with loot. My mom’s Aunt Sarah lived over on Patterson and she always made homemade caramel apples – though not my favorite I brought them home to the family. We hit up the bar on Addison just west of Lockwood – Grandpa Byrne , our neighbor and adopted Grandpa worked. They almost always gave a small size bag of Yo Ho potato chips. They were super salty chips. The Certified Grocer on Addison west of Long always gave out Chocolate Milk.

Major costumes that I remember – my Mad Hatter, beige tights, a black jacket that got black paper crepe tails added to it and a gigantic hat made out of cardboard and spray painted black. In third grade I asked for a store bought Mary Poppins, and thanks dad for buying me one. My big sister Mary Ellen made Patti and I clowns one year. We used to go to Chopin Park field house for a party and we won Best Costume that year. We had mops for hair and red ruffles around our neck. She let us select our print and mine was pretty colorful and very busy. We used these later at a party for the Scalzitti children as their birthday party entertainment.

I should also mention that this year was the year that Evanston school district decided not to allow any costumes. It was about equity they said, but the sad thing is the children don’t get that.

It is the era of worried about everything so making sure that no one’s feelings get hurt and white washing everything…. What a sad state for childhood.

A Family Affair and Princess phones

This weekend my husband and I were looking around Prime Video and found A Family Affair television show from the 60’s. It is about a bachelor who gets his 6 year old niece dropped off at this door. He has a butler Mr. French, played by a Sebastian Cabot in all his English finest. Soon the bachelor, Uncle Bill Davis learns that Buffy’s twin brother Jody has come to stay with them as well as teenager Sissy Davis. The bachelor uncle and butler re-arrange their lifestyles and make rooms in their homes for these children who have already moved into their hearts.

We watched several episodes of the first season and it brought us both to tears a few times. It always was very apparent that this was set it a different time. The children went to the park and played. Big sister Sissy gets a new phone; a rotary dial, pink princess phone (I wanted one once upon a time) and young Buffy is upset because she misses her sister who is now always on the phone. It made me think about today’s world.

We have a policy at our Center – no cell phones at work. Pretty simple but we often have to tell parents, hey no cell phones at the Center. They talk on the phone while their children are desperate for their attention. Sometimes those children are having temper tantrums while the parent still talks on the phone. Teachers may have important information to share, but still they talk on the phone.

Phone conversations have gotten totally out of hand out in public. I do not need to know who is fighting with who, or what someone wants to do with or to someone else. Way too much information is out there and there is no such things as privacy any more.

As far as telephones go. My telephone number was PE6-5832 or 736-5823 – Pensacola was the telephone exchange and this was before we had to add the 3 digit prefixes. I wish that I could remember my grandma’s telephone number, but I cannot. Most of my friends had the Mulberry exchange or the MU5 at the beginning of their number. No such things as speed dialing – and yes ma’am rotary phones. My Gramma Treacy had this old phone that was really heavy, She had it on a cork coaster in the kitchen, and it had a cloth covered cord. My phone had a coiled cord, like the ones today but it was short. Long cords came later. There was a single phone in our home in the kitchen for the longest time. Not a great thing when you needed to have some privacy. There was no call-waiting so if someone needed you and the phone was busy you kept manually redialing. In the case of an emergency you could call the operator and ask them to break in a line. I can only recall that happening maybe once or twice and admittedly it was pretty exciting.

Later on Ma Bell as we affectionately called the Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio etc. Bell companies, started making lots of changes. Button dial phones, new styles, multiple colors, longer cords, the ability to add extensions all over the house. The ability for one house to have multiple phone lines, which came in real handy when my younger brother, Johnny had started dating. Soon came cordless phones. They were huge and heavy and you had to be near the charger station. You could use them as an intercom system. You could hit a button on the base and the phone would chirp so that you could find it. Pretty cool functions!

Our phone number on Barry Ave. was 773-794-8764. So the extra three numbers deal was because we were running out of phone numbers. The City of Chicago would be 773 prefix, the north suburbs would be 847 and the south suburbs 630. The prefix would tell you where they were calling from. Of course now, in 2019 the whole zip code premise is out the window. People have all different prefixes. When you move you take your number with you now. We had phones on all floors and in multiple places. Basement in center room and by bathroom/furnace room. Main floor, bedrooms, den, kitchen and dining room. Attic one in both rooms upstairs.

We used the phone line for many years but later just so that we could have a security system. We cut the cord about three years ago and have no home number. The only people who were calling us on that number anyway were the telemarketers.

I got my first cell phone in the 90’s. I was doing Girl Scouts and they had a deal. In 1995 I wore a pager for work – hated that thing and Mike was on call 24/7 when her worked for US Robotics with his pager.

Modems and the internet came along, although not sure of the year. AOL was the thing everyone had – YOU’VE GOT MAIL it would announce after a series of electronic squelches. Ooops I forgot to mention that caller ID and call waiting were introduced. So you did not have to answer when you saw the caller ID, and while talking on the phone a beep signified that someone else was waiting – no more drama of the operator breaking in. All these features cost more and had to be selected.

While on the internet checking emails and doing research you had to suspend call waiting and so once again your phone would be tied up. Then people started with dedicated lines. This post is however about phones so let’s stick to that.

Technology kept moving forward. Big clunky care phones gave way to smaller flip phones, replaced by sliders with tiny keyboards to the flat screen iPhones.

Today I have an iPhone 6 Plus, Mike has an 8. When you get them you have to pay them off in installments as they cost between $800 – $1200. They have cameras in them that are better than most digital cameras on the market right now. They can stream video and music faster and they are wifi enabled. They are a mini computer in your hand.

When I saw the Pink Princess phone on the television, it made me smile. It brought me back to a memory from my childhood – a simpler time. I also feel pretty excited to be a technological pioneer. I feel that my generation can appreciate phones and understand their existence and worth a little better. I am able to unplug and have quiet. I am not sure that the upcoming generation can do that.

What to do when you are sick….

Working with young children you get exposed to a lot of sickness. Yucky stuff, colds from noses that drip constantly, fevers that parents have attempted to suppress with Tylenol before bringing them to school. My personal favorite is diarrhea. I have to admit that sometimes I am a sympathetic vomit-er. I see someone vomiting and then the gag reflex just kicks in. Parents get called and are supposed to pick up right away but they often don’t.

I remember when Michelle was in kindergarten and I got a call at work that she was ill. I left to pick her up and when I got there, I was let into the building and led up to her classroom, where she was sitting basically in the middle of her room in front of a large garbage can. To this day she remembers that. While she was sick her teacher, Sr. Maureen read to the rest of the class. She said she was embarrassed and I can totally see why.

I have always been the person who goes to the doctor when I get sick. In my early adulthood I would visit Dr, Maurice. He was a great doctor. His office was in the neighborhood and his office person Dorothy would handle insurance etc. She was an older lady, and got you in and out right away. Dr. Maurice was a great guy, more on him later. In my teens, twenties and thirties he would treat me for frequent sinus infections. I used to get a lot of migraines too. This summer I found myself barely able to breath and so I left work and went to immediate care. Fluid in the ears, allergy complications and so that doctor put me on Symbicourt.

So this week after my Executive Director was walking around like Typhoid Mary and spreading germs all over the place, I got sick. On Tuesday the pain in the center of my chest was awful. Thankfully no pain in the jaw, or left arm. No leg swelling or diarrhea so I surmised no heart attack. But really how would you know that you were having a heart attack if you don’t know what one feels like.

Thursday I went to Dr. Lipinska and got more Symbicourt, an asthma inhaler and some Prednisone in case it get worse. Environmental asthma. The center is old and dirty and the basement smells like moldy butt.

So the moral of the story is When you are sick you go to the Doctor. No excuses when you have insurance. Do what is necessary to be well and don’t pass on germs to others.

Reasons for Gladness

I just turned 60 years old. Wow! I remember when I thought that 40 was old and that was over 20 years ago. I work in the field of Early Childhood Field for a non-profit preschool serving 85 children.

I have been doing this for almost 20 years. Before I was in the Graphic Arts field. Sometimes I think I should have stayed in that field, especially when it comes to the money aspect, but other times I think that I am right where I am supposed to be. What makes that a reality is some really awesome children. Along the way there are some challenging ones too, some downright stinkers!

I named this blog Reasons for Gladness after a book that was read to my 6th grade class during religion instruction at a Catholic school on the northwest side of Chicago. Sr. Catherine Marie would read chapters from the book each day. It was a bitter sweet story about a Catholic family. My mother’s parents came from Ireland and they were the only grandparents that I knew. My father’s parents had passed away before I was born. I had a wonderful relationship with my Gramma Treacy and I think that was in part why I connected with this story. The other draw was their large family and I was the middle child of 5. I had bookend brothers with an 18 year age span. Of the three girls in the middle, I was the middle girl. Problem child on two counts….

I’m going to challenge myself to write at least 3 times a week, hopefully 5 – recording those small moments in the day that help keep my spirits buoyed in this tumultuous world.

Today I was reminded about a Reason for Gladness by a young lady who just turned 5. Z always runs over to me whenever she sees me. When I stop in her classroom, no matter where she is she runs over to me and says HUG. Those hugs can melt away a lot of my daily stress. You know the paperwork deadlines, the reports to funders/grantees, the recording and filing of screening forms, all that busy, albeit necessary work is always overshadowed by a moment like this.

I know that I need to focus more on those moments and less on the other issues – like staff being rude to one another or believe it or not ME!

I had a great childhood and think every child deserves the same! More on that at a later time.